and, well, she dances like nobody's watching
by of ocean-blue storms
Summary: In which Laurel and Felicity are neighbours, Oliver doesn't know Felicity and thirty five is not thirty four.


**and, well, she dances like nobody's watching**

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_'Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.'_

**Charles Bukowski**

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In which Laurel and Felicity are neighbours, Oliver doesn't know Felicity and thirty five is not thirty four.

.

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'All you need to do is cooperate, Laurel. And you won't get hurt, I promise.'

'Yeah, like I'm really going to believe a guy who's hogtied me to his wheelie chair. And why do you keep calling me Laurel? My name is _Felicity_!'

A beat.

A breath.

'Did you get me the wrong girl?'

'Um. You said she lived at number thirty four!'

'I can see you guys are really busy having an argument but – I live at number thirty five, actually.'

'Oh, for god's sake!'

.

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'They've got Laurel,' Oliver Queen snarls angrily and his hands are already curling over his bow.

John Diggle eyes him and sighs. 'Okay, but remember, you have to be calm and patient and we should probably make a plan as well … there's no point in my telling you this, is there?'

The automatic door slams shut, a flash of green flickering lightly.

.

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**A FEW HOURS AGO**

It's raining when the mobsters arrive.

There's three; one is obviously the leader, clothed in a dark trench coat that obviously belongs in the women's department and wearing a smirk to match, as he says, 'Get her.'

Felicity Smoak ducks as one guy lunges toward her and swipes two punches, one, two, straight into his face, making him recoil. Oh, God, she doesn't even _know_ what she's doing, Felicity thinks in a panic as she ducks again, feeling like a matador except there's no red cloth. So she just kicks out her leg and by sheer luck, her pointy heel slams into the second guy's groin and he's groaning, swearing at her loudly.

Except she's forgotten there's a third guy.

His lips quirk in amusement as Felicity catches her breath, eyes on him intently. 'Well, this is all very fascinating but I'm running on a tight schedule, I'm afraid. Come along, Laurel.'

With that, his hand shoots out too fast and five hundred bolts of raw electricity ricochets around her body. Annoyance fills her, blooming in her chest, and before she goes down, Felicity manages to croak out, 'I've got that same coat, princess!'

.

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'Just tell me. Did you already call The Hood?'

'…Yes.'

'You _idiot_!'

Felicity taps her foot against the wooden floor as she glances around herself unconcernedly. 'Um. Mr – sorry, what were your names again?'

'No talking!' snaps one of her kidnappers. There are only two in the kitchen with her at the moment but they hardly acknowledge her, arguing angrily.

'Fine,' she blows her hair out of her eyes. 'I was just asking. Free country and all, last time I checked –,'

The leader slowly walks toward Felicity and she trails off, 'And now you're standing in an intimidating position over me. Okay…'

'Sit tight like a good little girl. Got it?'

He cocks his gun.

'Got it. It's so gotten. I mean, I've got it so badly!' Felicity groans. 'Damn, I didn't mean it to come out like that! I meant that I –,'

She breaks off as an arrow sails through the window, with a piercing screech, and hits the second guy in the arm. Taking advantage of the confusion, Felicity stands up, swings the chair around and slams it into the leader's body. He crumples immediately.

Felicity winces. '_Ow_,' she grimaces. 'That really hurt!'

Pulling off the ropes that she'd managed to work through, Felicity glances around quickly but the mysterious vigilante is nowhere to be seen. She rolls her eyes. What is the point of a superhero if you have to do all the saving yourself?

The other man, who got shot in the arm, groans but manages to cock his gun threateningly as Felicity grabs a discarded umbrella desperately.

He simply tilts his head and smirks, pulling up his gun. 'Come at me, girlie.'

Felicity darts forward and gives him a poke, which he really didn't expect, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. Taking full advantage of his confusion, she uses the unwanted book on the table to smash through the glass door that leads outside. Felicity doesn't realise that the door's already unlocked and promptly runs for her life.

'You'll never catch me alive!'

Bullets rain down like Niagara Falls.

Her and her big mouth.

.

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Oliver fires off more arrows, as he stalks down the hallways with purpose. Anger surging relentlessly through his veins, replacing blood, The Hood strikes down all attackers in his way until he kicks down the door to the living room.

And blinks.

What the –?

Glass, splinters of gleaming glass shatter and spray themselves out on the garden floor and a guard grabs his own arm, crying out in pain. Ropes lay themselves out on the floor and an umbrella is splayed haphazardly across the table.

'She stabbed me –!' the guard manages to get out to The Hood, who steps over the mess, clutching his bow tightly. 'With a bloody umbrella!'

'What?' Oliver echoes as his eyes fall on said umbrella and a flicker of a smile graces Oliver's usually solemn features. Typical Laurel. He should've known she could take care of herself.

'Stupid blonde…'

The smile disappears instantly.

Laurel is a brunette.

.

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'You're not Laurel.'

'Holy _crap_!'

The deep, rich baritone rumbles throughout the forest Felicity is in and she almost leaps out of her own skin, as her eyes find the hooded figure standing ominously near the tree. The hooded figure bends his head even further. Felicity wonders vaguely if all he ever sees is the floor.

'Who are you?' he asks.

'You're the vigilante – I mean, The Hood,' Felicity breathes, recognising the figure. 'You shot the other guy.'

'I asked you a question. Who are you?'

'Oh, um, I'm Felicity,' Felicity replies quickly. 'Felicity Smoak. IT girl at Queens. Master of the word vomit. Seriously, I need superglue or something because I officially have no control whatsoever over this mouth of mine –,'

'Why are you here? What are you doing? Why did they capture you and say it was Laurel?'

'You're a bit demanding, aren't you?' Felicity observes but hurries on, 'Anyway, um, well. I got kidnapped. As you probably already know. Obviously. But they got the wrong girl. They were supposed to kidnap my neighbour, Laurel, but they got the wrong door and came for me, instead. I guess everybody slips up, sometimes, huh? I mean, I do it on a daily basis of course, but even villains have to have an off day, right?'

The Hood doesn't say anything but she's _got_ to be hallucinating or something because she _swears_ The Hood snickers very slightly, as his shoulders shake – she thought superheroes were supposed to be all brooding and I-Can't-Laugh-Even-If-A-Dancing-Chipmunk-Did-The-Hula?

'Nice heels,' The Hood comments as Felicity feels a tinge of pink taint her cheeks.

'I was getting blisters,' she gives a sheepish laugh, fingers gripping the heels slightly self-consciously. 'Um, look, do you know where we are? It's just – I'm really tired and I've got work tomorrow and I just really, really want to curl up with ice cream and Stephen Amell.'

'You don't have to worry,' The Hood tells her. 'I'll take you home.'

.

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'Um, Mr – the Hoo – vigi – Mr Hood?'

'Yes?'

'I know you're trying to be like Tarzan with your arrow thingies – not that I'm insinuating that I'm Jane or anything; no, I heard you had a crush on Laurel which is totally not my business and I'm rambling again so I'll just – _three, two, one_. I've just realised something.'

'What is it?'

'I'm terrified of heights.'

'Well … try not to look down.'

'Too late.'

A light chuckle rumbles his entire body and The Hood's strong arms tighten around Felicity who gulps and unconsciously (yeah, right) presses herself into his chest.

She wills herself not to throw up on the nice, muscular superhero who is taking her home.

.

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**fin**

**A/N: I've just started watching Arrow and sleep, what are you talking about, sleep, bwahahaha, what an absurd concept; there's Arrow episodes to watch. I hope you enjoyed it and will realise there is a box under this note. Yup, a REVIEW box. Where you REVIEW. Just putting that out there!**


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